tired of junk mail??? and telemarketers???

[C YENSEN]

try this

Three Little Words That Work!!
>
>
>
> (1) The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...'
>
>
>
> Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking
> off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make
> each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming
> that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
>
>
>
> Then when you eventually hear the phone company's
> 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back
> and hang up your handset, which has efficiently
> completed its task.
>
>
>
> These three little words will help eliminate telephone
> soliciting.
>
>
>
>
>
> (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with
> no one on the other end?
>
>
>
> This is a telemarketing technique where a machine
> makes phone calls and records the time of day when a
> person answers the phone.
>
> This technique is used to determine the best time of
> day for a 'real' sales person to call back and get
> someone at home.
>
>
>
> What you can do after answering, if you notice there
> is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your
> # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as
> possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the
> call and it kicks your number out of their system.
> Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their
> system any longer!
>
>
>
> (3) Junk Mail Help:
>
> When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility
> bill, return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the
> sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
>
>
>
> When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail
> for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and
> similar type junk, do not throw away the return
> envelope.
>
>
>
> Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes,
> right? It costs them more than the regular 51 cents
> postage 'IF' and when they receive them back.
>
>
>
> It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The
> postage was around 50 cents before the last increase
> and it is according to the weight. In that case, why
> not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it
> in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
>
>
>
> One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
>
> Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American
> Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you
> didn't get anything else that day, then just send them
> their blank application back! If you want to remain
> anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything
> you send them.
>
>
>
> You can even send the envelope back empty if you want
> to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 51
> cents.
>
>
>
> The banks and credit card companies are currently
> getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but
> folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know
> what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of
> all they're paying for it...twice!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are
> saying that e-mail is cutting into their business
> profits, and that's why they need to increase postage
> costs again. You get the idea!
>
>
>
> If enough people follow these tips, it will work ----
> I have been doing this for years, and I get very
> little junk mail anymore.
>
>
>
> THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO
> FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

[TunaHead]

I love telemarketers. They always ask for my wife but mispronounce her name. Sometimes I make a deal with them. I'll let them talk to her if they can tell me the speed of light. I've been doing this for 2 years and nobody has known it yet. (~186,000 miles per second)

Other times I'll just pretend to be a little touched in the head. (The wife says that's not much of a stretch for me...)