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#1
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Joke of the day?
Wouldn't it be better to just have one thread to keep all the jokes going?
I'll start: my girlfriend called me the other day and accused me of being a pedophile. I told her, that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old rkc
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Sorry to say that I no longer have a 1984 V20 :( 
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#2
02-24-2012, 09:43 AM
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Sex between three people is a "Threesome"
Sex between two people is a "Twosome" They call me "HANDSOME!"
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 1996 -19' NV Flats 115 Mercury 4-stroke 1983 -20' Wellcraft Center Console 250 XS
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#3
02-24-2012, 12:37 PM
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What is seven inches long and did not get used on Valentines day?
Whitney Houston's crack pipe!
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Sorry to say that I no longer have a 1984 V20 :(
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#4
02-24-2012, 12:51 PM
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Is this statuetory rape or a moosdemeanor?
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Really, who ISNT better looking than Charlie?
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#5
03-01-2012, 09:08 AM
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I am sure you can relate..
An old acquaintance and I were talking the other day.
We started talking about family, he said he had three boys. I said I have one girl. He said he felt sorry for me. What? I feel sorry for you because I know what my teenage boys are thinking about 24/7. Yeah, I remember being that age. He said his boys were easier because all he had to worry about was three peckers at a time. Having a girl meant that I had to worry about all peckers...all of the time..  NICE...
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1996 -19' NV Flats 115 Mercury 4-stroke 1983 -20' Wellcraft Center Console 250 XS
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#6
03-01-2012, 10:25 AM
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith , her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? ' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted
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1987 V20 w/1987 150HP Yamaha on a Shoreland'r Trailer 1978 16.5 Airslot w/1996 120HP Force on a Four Winns trailer 1996 V21 w/1993 200HP Mercury on a Shoreline Trailer All towed by a 5.7L Hemi Durango. If God didn't have a purpose for us we wouldn't be here, so Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. (Leave the rest to God)  Silence, in the face of evil, is itself evil. Not to speak is to speak, not to act is to act. God will not hold us guiltless.
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#7
03-01-2012, 10:55 AM
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A husband and wife were watching a documentary about an African tribe that tied rocks to their 'junk" and stretched them to lengths up to 15-16 inches. Later the wife asked the husband if he would give it a try and he agreed. A few days pass and the wife inquires.
W - hows it going? H - good, I'm half way there. W - wow! your at 8 inches? H - no, but it's turned black.
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1994 V21 W/2002 130HP Yamaha
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#8
03-02-2012, 09:33 AM
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Subject: Investment tips for 2012
For those of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2012: 1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood. 4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa. 5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild. 7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants. 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW! And finally.... 9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang
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1987 V20 w/1987 150HP Yamaha on a Shoreland'r Trailer 1978 16.5 Airslot w/1996 120HP Force on a Four Winns trailer 1996 V21 w/1993 200HP Mercury on a Shoreline Trailer All towed by a 5.7L Hemi Durango. If God didn't have a purpose for us we wouldn't be here, so Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. (Leave the rest to God) Silence, in the face of evil, is itself evil. Not to speak is to speak, not to act is to act. God will not hold us guiltless.
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#9
03-02-2012, 12:05 PM
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In an otherwise quiet classroom, suddenly Johnnie says, Hotta Mitey!! Teacher says, Be quiet, Johnnie...Later and a little louder, once again, Johnnie says Hotta Mitey!!...One more outburst and you'll go to the principal...In a few minutes Johnnie this time shouts, Hotta Mitey!!...Teacher jerks him up, hauls him to the office and tells him to explain himself to the principal...
Well walkin' to school this morning I saw two rabbits doin' it, then saw two pigs doin' it, then two ponies doin' it...so in class I got to thinkin' if I had a wanger like that pony, nuts like that hog and could GO like that bunny...and the TEACHER jumps up and shouts HOTTA MITEY!!...
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'74 V-20/ BF 150 '95 V-21/ BF 150 '84 V-20/ 200 2.4 Merc '87 V-20/'18 F150 Yamaha 
Last edited by reelapeelin; 03-02-2012 at 12:30 PM.
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#10
03-03-2012, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
Dolly Parton investing in two grocery store chains, Piggly Wiggly and Harris Teeter. The new company...Wiggly Teeters.
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*************************************** Stay Safe!  Sold - 1984 V-20 Cuddy with a 2003 Johnson 140 hp gas sippin 4-stroke. 1995 Ranger 250C with a 2015 Suzuki 300 hp 4-stroke.
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