Headline Newes 2029

[macojoe]

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized asMexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwesternUnited States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage..

Iranstill closedoff; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Francepleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help thebeleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stationsare only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. Massachusetts executeslast remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-upnewspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Floruba voters still having trouble withvoting machines.

I Love This Country!
It's The Government That Scares Me!