Love My Job

[Mac_Attack]

LOVE MY JOB







If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.5 on FM dial in, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industr ial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of co urse, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
a few seconds my *** started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my *** was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my ***.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions wer e unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I
was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me
a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my *** was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ***. Now repeat
to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever
you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

[C YENSEN]

[overboard]

This job might be worse.

[Mac_Attack]

I think it is!