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#1
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One-liners
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
Biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling My leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume She was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my Girlfriend yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going Fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I Should change dentists? A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking Behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get Reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she Would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not Listening". The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the Worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes Back. At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I Lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have Curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!! One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing Commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct Answer either. There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new Bomber jackets. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his Girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He Said "Her brother's got a mustache." Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next Thing I know 4,000 f....g Muslims have added me as a friend!! Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I Said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in My room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular People-porn, you sick bastard. The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help Towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our Garden hose only reaches the driveway.
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- The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but obtainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. Lucky Jack - .......The Surprise is not old; no one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine seaboat: weatherly, stiff and fast, very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old; she's in her prime. 85' Wellcraft 20 Fisherman "Guale Girl" 1979 Alumnacraft 14 - STILL got holes in it 2006 WS Tarpon160f - "Mudd Butt" 
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#2
10-24-2011, 07:57 PM
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Quote:
  ...all of 'em!...
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'74 V-20/ BF 150 '95 V-21/ BF 150 '84 V-20/ 200 2.4 Merc '87 V-20/'18 F150 Yamaha 
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