Southerners

[tsubaki]

The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4 They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8 Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.




18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

[spareparts]

nuf said

[charlie_the_tuna]

yeah uuuummmmmm. . . . . .
i didnt get number 7.

[THEFERMANATOR]

Originally Posted by charlie_the_tuna

yeah uuuummmmmm. . . . . .
i didnt get number 7.

You might be a yankee if?



Dove huntin is SERIOUS bizness down here in du sowth.

[charlie_the_tuna]

dove huntin?
whattaya do with em?
and what do they have to do with cel phones?

[TunaHead]

CTT, I agree with ya.
It takes ALOT of dove to feed a few friends. On the other hand, they are mighty tasty and worth the effort ;D

[tsubaki]

Season opens Sept. 1.
If successful I'll post in Recipes

[parishht]

Actually CTT, you just have to get out of NY area and all the hunters shoot doves.

I think city folk call it game hen,
those little roasted birds that get served in ritzy restraunts
and they charge you an arm and a leg.

as a chartered member of the sons of confederate veterans, and a proud southerner, i have to be honest.

1.couldnt agree more. but, that crap started down south. remember, this is where all the nazis are.

2.i was gonna buy a cowboy hat once but, i couldnt tell wich side was the front

3. i wish i could afford a cadilac. a black one like johny cash drove

4. i dont too much care for the smell of cow poo. aint going nowhere, been here all my life.

5.if you would enslave some of these wanna be wangster/wiggers, you wouldnt need that expensive equipment. and then they might pull thier pants up and open doors for the ladies

6. aahhh, the good ole days

7. one handed. well, i aint puttin my beer down fer nuthin

8. crayfish taste better with beer than cavier

9.he!! yeah!

10.dam straight!

11.men eat like men, no matter from where they hale

12. dont ferget the beer!

13. "we make our own whiskey and our own smoke too" hank williams jr. we grow the best. and the most. he!! 30 percent of the countries supply comes from rite here in MS. and i heard that they call crystal meth 'country coke' now a'days

14. dont watch iether. more into hot rod tv and bill dance outdoors

15. most golf courses down here are built on land fills or toxic waste dumps. the well manicured grounds prevent erosion. i wouldnt recomend eating the fish in those ponds

16.i went to L.S.U. man did we drink a lot of beer!

17.proud of that fact, but i myself, fought for this country as a whole

18. unless its garth brooks or big-n-rich. 'we make a lot of noise, cause the girls they are so pretty'

19. we can say what we want about ourselves but, if'n y'all yanks start some crap we'll stomp a mud hole in yer a$$ qwiker than you can say rattlemoccasin