On the lighter side

[Destroyer]

This has not been properly vetted, so if some of it is inaccurate, please do not put me in front of a firing squad.


Proof That The World Is Nuts!


In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Ummm....Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Glad I don't live in Indonesia! Much worse than 'going blind!')

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.

Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute: Is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.

The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(Well........ya, of course!!)

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(That just makes me shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Condoms may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?........ Well, maybe not as great as Guam, but a great country!!!

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)

The Ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of ???)

(Did our Government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

An Ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.

(I also know some people like that, too.)

And, last but not least....

Turtles can breathe through their a$$.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)


Thanks all for reading this. If you need to reach me in the future, I"ll be in Guam !!!!!!

[ssiredfish]

Thats pretty good man.....

[scook]

That's a great list. Chickens (and some of my past subcontractors) share the Ostrich's problem. We had one die fairly young and looking really healthy (apart from beind dead ) so we decided to do an autopsy. The guts were cancerous, which seemed to explain the early death, then we looked for the brain. The two optic nerves were easy to follow and made a "Y" where they attached to the spinal column - no evidence of a brain at all. It was probably the cancer, but it could be she just died of being stupid

[willy]

I had to give up that Guam position my friend, missed the Homeland