JOKE OF THE DAY

[THEFERMANATOR]

BEER VS ******

1.Beer is always wet. ****** needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to ******

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to ******

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of ****** your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten ******s in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to ******

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any ****** in public, you become a legend.
One point to ******

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of ****** he may buy you a beer.
One point to ******

9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much ****** and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to ******

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
fun.
One point to ******

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to ******

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down.
One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc
One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it
One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 ******: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER