Merry Xmas

[macojoe]

you willbe fine ausie, it will take time and it not easy!!!! but you will get there. The kids will get a little older and relize they want you in there life, and you will meet someone ands be happy again, till then just stay busy busy busy!!
Belive me there are days i don't want to get up but i got to do it if i want to live! going sitting on a machine 4 hours a day sucks and ewipes you out!! but then i go see my wife to make sure she is being taken care of in the home. she fights the nurses some days and doesn't want to get cleanec up. i go there yell at her and sometimes hold her down so they do what they can, like you say its not easy!! but you gpot to do what you got to do,not going to be easyh when she goes we have been toghter 35 years Feb 1st
Here she is with some fat guy in 2002, then now, its sad to watch

[roffey]

I admit I do not post here very often but I still do creep the forum, you guys all seem like such caring group of boaters. Aussie, you seem to be in a really bad place in your life and I must admit it troubles me to read this as you seem so hurt. Aussie you are looking for help and should seek it. Don’t think I am not feeling for you. I have my wife of 35 years and my kids all live close by so I can’t say truthfully I understand your pain but do know how depression and post-traumatic stress feels. I know you should see a professional. Here in Canada we can see our family doctor and start the process. Don’t look at this as failure we all need some help and depression is serious and don’t ignore it, seek help. Use this from as an outlet for sure, I am sure you will get lots of support here. Things will turn around for you.

[aussie]

Originally Posted by roffey

I admit I do not post here very often but I still do creep the forum, you guys all seem like such caring group of boaters. Aussie, you seem to be in a really bad place in your life and I must admit it troubles me to read this as you seem so hurt. Aussie you are looking for help and should seek it. Don’t think I am not feeling for you. I have my wife of 35 years and my kids all live close by so I can’t say truthfully I understand your pain but do know how depression and post-traumatic stress feels. I know you should see a professional. Here in Canada we can see our family doctor and start the process. Don’t look at this as failure we all need some help and depression is serious and don’t ignore it, seek help. Use this from as an outlet for sure, I am sure you will get lots of support here. Things will turn around for you.

Thanks roffery this forum is like Family to me .I did go to get help from a shrink .I told him my situation I had a hour visit and it was not enough time to tell him my lifes journey at the end of the session I didnt like what he said to me.Angelo you have had a hard life but theres nothing I can really help you with I can offer you meds so that you can sleep and have a appetite again.He cant help me with my problems I was a good Farther and husband...I dont drink.I dont do drugs .I dont beat on my wife .I have always been faithful.I have never lied to her .any money I had was for the family why do u think my boat never got finished because there needs always came first.You are right my Mental health is far from good and each day i dont know if I can make it to the next day.Marriage is meant to be for life I take my vowels seriously....I hope and wait for some change in my life that will take the edge of all this mental pain drugs that the doc gives me helps but its like a roller coaster ups and downs .....The hardest thing to deal with is not having the answer to some of my WHYS

[aussie]

Originally Posted by macojoe

you willbe fine ausie, it will take time and it not easy!!!! But you will get there. The kids will get a little older and relize they want you in there life, and you will meet someone ands be happy again, till then just stay busy busy busy!!
Belive me there are days i don't want to get up but i got to do it if i want to live! Going sitting on a machine 4 hours a day sucks and ewipes you out!! But then i go see my wife to make sure she is being taken care of in the home. She fights the nurses some days and doesn't want to get cleanec up. I go there yell at her and sometimes hold her down so they do what they can, like you say its not easy!! But you gpot to do what you got to do,not going to be easyh when she goes we have been toghter 35 years feb 1st
here she is with some fat guy in 2002, then now, its sad to watch

thanks joe for sharing your photos

[bradford]

Feel for both of y'all. Hang in there the best you can. MJ you seem to keep your spirits up pretty well considering what all you've been dealing with, at least that's the way it sounds. Aussie keep your chin up, it will be hard, but it's the only thing to do. After you get a little time on the situation you'll have a better perspective on things. Mj I haven't forgotten about your hydraulic helm.

[aussie]

The thoughts that are making me so unhappy is Failure.I have failed to keep my marriage and to keep the one I Love happy and have failed my sons to have a full happy Family ......You may think its crazy but if she died I would be dealing with it more better because it would be out of my control and not make me feel like it was my fault and not think if I would of done this better it wouldn,t of happen .Marriage is for Life... No matter what happens... Your meant to take the good with the bad ....My mind and thoughts are really stuffed at the moment with all these drugs that I am taking to keep me calm.....2016 I have to try and get off all these drugs and hope it may change the way I think ....I am too afraid to even think about allowing another women in my Life .I don,t think I could trust another and with my Health issues there,s no way I want to feel like I,m a burden to her the same way I felt with my wife ..... The worse thing is I still and will always love my x wife

[Destroyer]

Originally Posted by aussie

The thoughts that are making me so unhappy is Failure.I have failed to keep my marriage and to keep the one I Love happy and have failed my sons to have a full happy Family ......You may think its crazy but if she died I would be dealing with it more better because it would be out of my control and not make me feel like it was my fault and not think if I would of done this better it wouldn,t of happen .Marriage is for Life... No matter what happens... Your meant to take the good with the bad ....My mind and thoughts are really stuffed at the moment with all these drugs that I am taking to keep me calm.....2016 I have to try and get off all these drugs and hope it may change the way I think ....I am too afraid to even think about allowing another women in my Life .I don,t think I could trust another and with my Health issues there,s no way I want to feel like I,m a burden to her the same way I felt with my wife ..... The worse thing is I still and will always love my x wife

You are NOT a failure. You cannot control what another person thinks or feels, no matter how hard you try. It might not be anything at all that you have done. She may be going thru menopause, her hormones might be out of wack, she might have a brain tumor, etc etc etc... Nothing you could do about any of it. DO NOT beat yourself up.
Remember the prayer:
Lord, help me to change the things I can change; accept the things I cannot change; and the wisdom to know the difference.
Ask his help. It will be given.

[roffey]

Well said, even if it was something you did there is nothing you can do about it now, what's done cant be undone. As far as meeting another woman IMHO I think it might not be a good idea, especially if it does not work out. You should see if you can't see a specialist on a regular bases and get off the drugs that fog your head, keep in mind I know nothing about this. My wife takes pills for life that help her deal with stress. Its a chemical imbalance. You need to focus on you. Once you get a handle on that focus on your kids and the wife last, if ever. As I said I don't know what I'm talking about here and should not be giving advice. You need someone to talk to and this forum might be the place but I am sure there is support groups, your not the first or the last to go through this it's just to bad you are going it on your own.

[aussie]

2016 has to be a changing point for me and I have to try and keep positive and start living for me.Sounds easy for alot of people but its not for me , so use to doing things for my family first ....Thanks for your kind words guys and you are all my mates......This V20 of mine needs to get wet this year .http://www.uswebproxy.com/browse.php...i5qcGc%3D&b=13