Need some advice to deal with teenage boys

[reelapeelin]

Originally Posted by aussie

OK i have bit of a problem to deal with today and was hoping some of you guys would give me some advice.

PLEASE NO JOKES OR BEING STUPID

my to oldest boys got in to a punch on over a friend who was staying over the weekend . the problem is one got stabbed with siscors by the other and needed 4 stiches
the problem is both have completely different stories and dont no what to belive

all i can say when i ran in the room the oldest was chooking out the youger one and i ripped them appart

now my wife said i have to deal with it . when i ask what happen i get alot of yelling.

one off my thoughts was to go to the cops and let them deal with it . he cant go around stabbing people and especally his bro. dont want to push this problem under the mat any advice would be good

Sometimes you get the truth w/all in the room...sometimes it's better to separate them...sounds like this is a situation where they need to be separated to get to the truth of what happened...start taking away privilages each hour that you don't get a straight answer...be ready to ENFORCE it as well...
I had girls as well, but there is one thing about raising kids that's just like training dogs...don't ever give a command that you are not in a position or are not willing to enforce...

[Road King Cole]

The old saying that it takes two to fight is normally true.

I would assume that the smaller one used the scissors???

I hope you can get your boys in control without causing any more "distance" between them.

rkc

[RidgeRunner]

Aussie, you may have your hands full with those boys. There is a difference between rough and tumble and stabbing. Get a handle on it NOW. If they are pre-teen, I would say it just got out of hand. My 8yr old girl stabbed a boy that was aggravating at school with a pencil two years ago, she got punished, scolded and reasoned with. That appears to have worked. Younger kids don't always make the best choices because they don't have much life experience, if you frame it into the mindset, "Is that how you would like to be treated" it leaves an impression.
If they are teens, they need to know how serious that behavior can be. You know them better than anyone on here. Make the punishment fit the crime. Get the story sorted out and punish the both of them. Keep the Police out of it IMO, you are asking for trouble there. The police may help scare the kids as a tactic of last resort.
I only have the one girl, so no real life experience, just throwing out an opinion. Whatever you do, do something, doing nothing will let them know that they can get away with it.

[Destroyer]

I've got 3 kids..all grown... 2 boys and a girl.. the one absolute thing I've found is that every arguement has three sides.. what #1 said, what #2 said and what really happened. It's up to you to sort it all out as best you can. Understand that both of them are waiting now for your reaction.. that will tell them how far they can go in the future. Like Willy said, it's not all that uncommon for siblings to fight. And like Reel said, don't make a decision you're not willing or able to enforce.
Leave the police out of it for now.. this is a family matter.
Start by removing all privaleges for both of them... Home, school, back home, schoolwork and chores.. that's it.. No computer games, no tv, no hanging with their friends... no nothing until you get a full accounting of what happened..then give back very limited amounts.. maybe some tv. They need to know that they have to earn back what they used to have.
You also need to sit with the one that did the stabbing and talk to him. Let him know how close he came to doing serious damage, and the consequences of that damage... Ask him why he did it. And don't just ask, listen to what he says.. work with him, not against him.
Oh, and praying together never hurts.. in fact it helps a great deal. IMHO.

[charlie_the_tuna]

all sound advice. my boys are 9 and 13 so i guess i have time before i have to deal with this crap.
so now that you've gotten your advice is it time for jokes and being stupid yet?
because i've got a couple winners.

[aussie]

well thanks guys at least i no i have some real friends on here .Its very hard to deal with at the moment as i have my health issues and this is the last thing i expected .here is some info on my 2 boys ALEX is 17--6ft3 --220lbs the ADRIAN 18--6ft--200lbs .ALEX is into boxing and ADRIAN basketball--wiegts and running . ADRIAN was the one who got stabbed.ALEX has been bullied since the first day he went to school till the age of 15 and 3 school changes the school system falled .In the end i threaten to beat him up if he came home and said he was picked on i said better son to go down fighting than doing nothing . well he did stand up for himself but now he may be the bully now . Back to the situation the boys r really close slept in the same bed till they were 15 and would kill for each other --- not each other

Spoke with them last nite couldnt belive how different the stories were .Who do you belive im not deciding who is at fault cause both are as you no i have a very short temper which has got me is so much trouble in life .So what i done was no computers. no games xbox . no boxing . no friends or going out . no basket ball TILL BOTH OF THEM CAN COME BACK WITH THE SAME STORY AND AGREE .and i told my wife if u allow them to do anything your on your own. my wife makes it hard cause she gives into them cause they suck up her arse

ok jokes r welcome now i have a little penis lol

[reelapeelin]

Alex is not allowed to box and /adrian is no basketball til Dad gets the same story from each...

[Road King Cole]

Originally Posted by aussie

TILL BOTH OF THEM CAN COME BACK WITH THE SAME STORY AND AGREE .

that is a very good plan, force them to cooperate with each other.

Ok now with a bit of humor...

Also consider talking to them while you are fixing your sores with a soldering iron....

rkc

[willy]

Having boys and having them get into a scrap, even coming to blows is not that uncommon, serious but not uncommon.
That said when one pulls a weapon and stabs the other that is a different situation all together.
We do not have enough details on the boys, their age difference, size difference, whether one is living with a bullying threat. Any other personal relationship type things.
Drug use, alcohol abuse, even sexual abuse.
The assumption would be of course the one who is cut is the one who was not pulling a weapon., but the mere word assume means make an arse of you and me.
If you as the Father can not make these determinations and there are things underlying this confrontation you do not know about then for us to make a suggestion is rather hard.
It sounds like you may need to do one of two things immediately, first sit each down separately and do your best to determine what happened, insure your sons you will be there to help, you will be there protect, but you will also will call in the social services even police to investigate if you do not get the answers you need.
If you cannot get to the truth then you will have to make the call. Is the threat of further violence, maybe even escalated violence there? If so and you are unable to resolve it call for help. Don't wait until someone in your family is hurt or much worse.
Call for help.