New "You Might Be A Redneck If..."

[WinniDave]

You beat me to it. I was looking for my copy when you posted...

My road is nice and smooth right now. Where are you located?

Dave C.

[chumbucket]

20 mile south of Boston. My street feels as though none of us paid our road taxes. You don't want to drive down it with a full bladder.

[tsubaki]

reel, I actually found myself counting the number that applied to me.
You know I used to feel good about myself.

[bradford]

Originally Posted by tsubaki

reel, I actually found myself counting the number that applied to me.
You know I used to feel good about myself.

I only got eleven out of thirty.

[macojoe]

I get 18 of CB's 18 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WinniDave]

A friend with a Texas accent just sent me this:

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Vermont plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Vermont sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Vermont drive with the windows down..

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Vermont throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Vermont have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Vermonters close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Vermont get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Vermont are selling cookies door to door.


20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Vermont let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Vermonters get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero ):
ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Vermont start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Vermont public schools will open 2 hours late