Pirated from another board:

[Blue_Runner]

A Pirate's Tale

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pulling’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the seaman. “What about the hook?”

“Ahhhh...,” mused the pirate, “we were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.”

“Zounds!” remarked the seaman. “And how came ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye” answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” The sailor asked incredulously.

"Well…." said the pirate, …. it was me first day with the hook."