4 da puter nerds

> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
> the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
> space and valuable resources.
> In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
> monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
> Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run,
> crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the
> background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
> I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't
> work on Wife 1.0.
> Please help!
> Thanks,
> A Troubled User.
>
> REPLY: Dear Troubled User:
> This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade
> from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
> Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by
> its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0
> and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the
> program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
> Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
> Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under :Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I
> recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
> suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
> software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command
C:
> \ APOLOGIZE. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command
> before the system will return to normal anyway.
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
> Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these
> programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag
> 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife
1.0
> is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
5.0
> !
> WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
> Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
> irreversible damage to the operating system.
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support
>