Things you shoud know

[THEFERMANATOR]

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought ***elry.
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How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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SON: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
FATHER: "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
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After the wedding, the bride's dad took a taxi to bankruptcy court. As he got out he said to the driver, "You might as well come too."
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On a calling card (presented to guests at the reception)
I am the Father of the Bride. Nobody's paying much attention to me today, but I can assure you, that I am getting my share of attention. A bank and several business firms are watching me very closely.
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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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Maybe you heard about the man whose credit card was stolen but decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
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A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?"
"A multi-millionaire."