New Stock Market Terms

[Mac_Attack]

Subject: new stock market terms - some humor to lighten the day...

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CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.



CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.



BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.



BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no ***elry, and the husband gets no sex.



VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.



P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.



BROKER -- What my broker has made me.



STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.



FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.



MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



YAHOO< -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.



PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.