Politicaly Correct

parishht · #1 10-12-2006, 03:04 PM

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America..............Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP
CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It' "REAR CLEAVAGE."

msbhammer · #2 10-12-2006, 06:55 PM

Good One Brother ;)

C YENSEN · #3 10-12-2006, 07:32 PM

pretty funny except I am from West Virginia >:( ;D

#4 10-12-2006, 07:53 PM

i hate george carlin. even when he is funny (most of the time) he realy pi$$es me off.

and CY, if it makes you feel better, i still call you west virginia boys hillbillies.

Airslot · #5 10-12-2006, 11:25 PM

Yup, and I'm married to a blond WV Hillbilly, and she just loves a good West Virginia Blond Joke ;D

Airslot

turbinedoctor · #6 10-13-2006, 06:46 PM

I dont like being Politicaly Correct. Just tell it like it is.

#7 10-13-2006, 08:14 PM

dont tempt me,lol!

turbinedoctor · #8 10-13-2006, 11:30 PM

Racer lets start pushing back and going "POLITICALY INCORRECT". Altough I dont think we can post most of them here.

Everybody is so sensitive thesedays and cant handle the truth. If I'm fat then I'm fat. But at least I'm not trying to fool myself and calling it Displacemently Challenged or something like that.

If you aint happy with the way you are and dont like to hear it then atleast try to change your self before changing every one else.

Its a good thing I dont like typing or I could go on and on. Since my FAT fingers are getting tired I'm going to stop now.

charlie_the_tuna · #9 10-13-2006, 11:47 PM

maybe you should have included pictures for those members from west virginia.
:-/ sorry guys.

turbinedoctor · #10 10-13-2006, 11:54 PM

I'm Not sure you could handle a picture of me. After I met Air he started taking therapy. ;D

Hope he's Ok now ;)