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#1
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Completely Inappropriate Jokes
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, "I can't believe they ****ed my wife after only five beers!" ______________________________________________ Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. .... It just reaches the back of her sister's throat!" ______________________________________________ I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard thefront door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have ran - but you don't get offers like that every day. _____________________________________________ Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the **** out of this idiot at a party. In my defense.when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in. __________________________________________________ __ My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I am coming or going. "I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face, you're going - 'cus when you're coming, you look like a ****ing Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!" __________________________________________________ __ I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I ****ed a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what? __________________________________________________ ___ The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" .... Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer . __________________________________________________ _____________ Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor Black orphans. I said, "**** that - knowing my luck, I'd win one!" __________________________________________________ __ What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own ****ing bike, and wanted to go home! 
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#2
01-23-2013, 11:28 PM
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Good stuff!
__________________
1983 V-20 capsized. . . . in the garage.
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#3
01-24-2013, 10:28 AM
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HAHA, love it!!
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- The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but obtainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. Lucky Jack - .......The Surprise is not old; no one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine seaboat: weatherly, stiff and fast, very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old; she's in her prime. 85' Wellcraft 20 Fisherman "Guale Girl" 1979 Alumnacraft 14 - STILL got holes in it 2006 WS Tarpon160f - "Mudd Butt"
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#4
01-24-2013, 07:48 PM
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Quote:
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Hybrid Mode
