AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

[Skools Out]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,
then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools:
WD-40 and Duct Tape.If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bed pan.

[Blue_Runner]

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

So, THAT'S WHY STINKY DOES THAT!! Who'd a thunk it?

[reelapeelin]

Bedpan?...a WHILE back, I did about 3 weeks in the Sptbg Gen Hosp (broke femur)...3RD shift nurse mean & nasty...real beeyutch...squirt-gun loaded w/bedpan contents...laid in wait...middle of nite...battle-ax enters room; I fake sleepin' till she's goin' out the door...aim, FIRE!!!.... ;D ;D ;D

[Blue_Runner]

..tell me you're lyin!

[Skools Out]

LOL I Hope so too BR lol

Yeah i think Stinky already read this before i posted it lol Sink Leaking lol

[reelapeelin]

Nope, not lyin'...but the rest of the story: weapon did not operate or she'd have got soaked...think contents may have jambed the plumbin' in the gun... ::)...Nurse Ratchet never knew what ALMOST happened...