Perfect Marriage

[Mac_Attack]

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE





1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it.........this is the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ just clean and simple fun

[reelapeelin]

Good stuff, Mac...and you're right ... that's from a time when entertainment was driven by TALENT...now it's all shock and smutt ... and even a poor job of THAT :P ...

[phatdaddy]

"Freddie the freeloader

klem kadiddlehopper

gertrude & heathcliff"

guys, we're showing our age again

[reelapeelin]

Originally Posted by phatdaddy

"Freddie the freeloader

klem kadiddlehopper

gertrude & heathcliff"

guys, we're showing our age again

Heck, Phat...I remember when a phone number only had 4 digits ;) ...

[parishht]

I remember when phone numbers were franklin 4- 1234.

A little later than Red, does anyone know this phone number:

BR549

[reelapeelin]

Originally Posted by parishht

I remember when phone numbers were franklin 4- 1234.

A little later than Red, does anyone know this phone number:

BR549

Jr. Samples Used Cars ;) ...

[THEFERMANATOR]

I'm only 26 and i remember alot of what you guys talk about. And I remember RED SKELTON, as well as many others.

[willy]

Red was the man. I miss those days sometimes. ;)