just who is Jack Schitt?

> > >
> >> For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
> >> ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
> >>
> >> Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
> >> intellectual way.
> >>
> >> Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
> >> magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
> >> had one son, Jack.
> >>
> >> In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
> >> produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
> >> BullSchitt,
> >> and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
> >>
> >> Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
> >> school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and NoeSchitt
> >> divorced.
> >> Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
> >> with
> >> them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as
> >> Noe Schitt Sherlock.
> >>
> >> Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
> >> a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
> >> children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
> >> childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
> >> ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
> >> Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and
> >> Horse.
> >>
> >> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
> >> returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
> >>
> >> Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
> >> them.
> >>
> >> Sincerely,
> >> Crock O. Schitt
> >>
> >> REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE

I think Jack is Shorty Lipschitz cousin.