The national health care plan

[CaptJ]

TOP TEN INDICATORS THE NATIONAL HEALTH CARE PLAN HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take aleft when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" fromRoto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is"an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave toGoodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-networkcharges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's onthem.


AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CAREPLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.