Rules for BBQ

THEFERMANATOR · #1 04-01-2008, 07:34 PM

BBQ RULES We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL .

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Stinky_Hooker · #2 04-01-2008, 08:15 PM

NICE!

cfelton · #3 04-01-2008, 08:41 PM

Yep, thats about right!! But I cook on the charcoal grill year round. Just have to substitute George Dickel for the cold beer!!!

randlemanboater · #4 04-02-2008, 07:40 AM

I thought BBQ was pork cooked over Hickory wood then chopped and put on a bun with BBQ slaw (never fish slaw).

willy · #5 04-02-2008, 10:24 AM

BBCue, is anything you liked cooked on the grill, outside, with friends and family around ya.

Dickel, very nice touch. I may have to add some to my stashes, have not had any for awhile. Shame on me

Blue_Runner · #6 04-02-2008, 02:45 PM

Quote:

I thought BBQ was pork cooked over Hickory wood then chopped and put on a bun with BBQ slaw (never fish slaw).

It is to us RB!

Quote:

BBCue, is anything you liked cooked on the grill, outside, with friends and family around ya.

Down here we call that grilling out, or a cook out and barbeque is noun, not a verb.

RB, coleslaw isn't bad. Not as good as red slaw but it'll do in a pinch.

bradford · #7 04-02-2008, 06:14 PM

Randleman and Blue Runner I agree witha ya on the use of proper vocabulary, however you must agree that this was indeed an excellent post by Ferm. Willy, it's very important to diversify.

willy · #8 04-02-2008, 06:21 PM

BBcue is diffrent everywhere you go in the US. Out west bbcue is serious and beef centered, down south it is pork centered. In the east we bbcue all of it and enjoy the heck out of it. Recipies for fish beef pork venison shell fish shrimp.
The grill is a tool, bbcue is a frame of mind