How the Fight Started

[THEFERMANATOR]

1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that c
I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas
station..... and that's how the fight started....

2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of
Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold
cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look
better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the
fight started.

3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security
office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my
age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,
'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Socia l Security application. When I got home,
I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten disability, too'. And
that's how the fight started.....

4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My
wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I
sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....

5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we
were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo
stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed
over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,
then which one are you?' And that's how the fight
started.....

6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the
strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how
the fight started.....