The thoughts that are making me so unhappy is Failure.I have failed to keep my marriage and to keep the one I Love happy and have failed my sons to have a full happy Family ......You may think its crazy but if she died I would be dealing with it more better because it would be out of my control and not make me feel like it was my fault and not think if I would of done this better it wouldn,t of happen .Marriage is for Life... No matter what happens... Your meant to take the good with the bad ....My mind and thoughts are really stuffed at the moment with all these drugs that I am taking to keep me calm.....2016 I have to try and get off all these drugs and hope it may change the way I think ....I am too afraid to even think about allowing another women in my Life .I don,t think I could trust another and with my Health issues there,s no way I want to feel like I,m a burden to her the same way I felt with my wife ..... The worse thing is I still and will always love my x wife
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