[scook]

I'm not up to date on this stuff but have you heard of or looked into giving the bank a "deed in lieu of foreclosure" to get rid of the other house? You need to get competent advice on the subject - if there are any active Realtors on the site or if you know one, they might be familiar with the process. Where I am the local Realtor association has a lawyer who gives seminars on that kind of stuff - a Realtor might be able to tell you if it seems like a good idea and maybe get you a little free advice from their lawyer.

Another possible source of help is your federal senator or congressman. A friend of mine was getting jerked around badly by the bank, trying to get his loan modified and one of our senators was very helpful slapping the bank upside their head. If your old lender is dragging their feet, this might be a way to get them moving.

You and your wife are in my prayers and you know you have a bunch of guys here who are on your side and wishing the best for you and your family. I wish I had more concrete help to offer.