It is going to take a while, CTT, but you will get through it. I have had to put down a couple cats and a dog and, yes, I too went through all the feelings of guilt about not saying cost be damned and trying to prolong their lives. However, like your cat, my animals were all pretty well up there in age, had lived good lives, and I ultimately decided that it was not the money, but rather the fact that I did not want the animals to live a reduced quality of life, and so ended their suffering.
In time, I believe you will want to get another cat to replace the one you have lost. Will never replace your beloved pet, but will help fill the void.
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