+Maybe a golf ball. I piss all the time. Just ask MJ.
+If only I had hair.
+I have dimples because I'm cute dammit!
+I wish.
+Double that. I can grow a decent beard in a couple weeks.
+I will never get cirrhosis of the liver. Ever!
+Only if I wash them.
+Maybe?
+My wife can win a staring contest every time I've had a bit too much to drink.
+That's easy. I have a lot of skin surface and a brain the size of a walnut.
+My pupils haven't dilated in years when I look at the admiral.
+My wife just finished staring me down. Anyone need a candle or two?
+That's why I try to sit whenever possible.
+I can't taste it because I had too much Jack Daniels
+Several times.
