A small zoo in Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Stinky, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal
cages. Stinky, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Stinky was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Stinky showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:
"First", Stinky said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt, and a pink thong". The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this, espescially not some guy named HAMMER!"
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Fourth", Stinky said, "I want all the children raised
Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Stinky said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00, I just lifted my golf cart."
