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A New Element has been discovered
Today's chemistry lesson:
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. |
I know this element, it was actually discovered in the 1700's and a brave smart bunch of fellows stood up and kicked its arse out of this country.
I believe we are nearing such a critical mass again |
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I believe the last attempt was impeaded in 1865 and reaffirmed August 14, 1935.
However being very careful not to kill the cow that gives the milk, just would appreciate warming your hands a little before squeezing the udders. |
Nah I am past the point of being touched at all, now I have a proximity to sh!t sensitivity and it is becoming hyper sensitive rapidly
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