Fingers
 

John is working at the lumber yard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and
accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

John says, "I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 2008.
We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put
them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"

John says, "Well, ****, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

http://www.sawstop.com/
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs-WmzAE0uA