I thought this was a great Joke
 

This guy dies and goes o heaven, when he arrives he meets St. Peter at the gate and notices a wall of clocks?
He says to St. Peter whats with all the clocks?? St. Peter says everyone on earth has one and it tells God how many times someone has lied in there life, by moving each time they lie.
Oh says the guy , who's clock is that?? St. Peter says thats Mother Teresa's and it has never moved! Incredible says the man.
This is Abraham Lincoln's clock and it has only moved twice!
Where is Obama's clock? Thats in Gods office he is using it as a ceiling Fan!!!!

LOL I agree...funny as hell. If only it weren't so damn true it would be even funnier.

Another St Peter....

Guy dies and is standing at the pearly gates when St Peter asks, "What good have you done with your life that I should let you in?"

"Well," said the man, "I once pulled off the road to save a woman gettin beatin within an inch of her life by a gang of bikers."

St Peter replies, "What an admirable act! When did this happen?"

Man replies, "Oh, about 20 minutes ago....."