Dumbest thing you ever heard on a boat
 

Tied up in the basin at the Galleria Mall in Cambridge Mass. (Charles River, a short ride to the locks and Boston Harbor) a guy in a wife beater (obviously not a Harvard or MIT student) points at all our fishing rigs and asks "what do you catch with those"?

My kids answer "Striped Bass, Cod, Sharks....".

Wife Beater Guy: "Whoa, you can catch those in here"?

Kids: "Uh, no we go out in the ocean".

WBG: "Wow, this connects to the ocean"?

Kids: "Yeah".

WBG (looking even more perplexed): "What ocean"?

wheres the rim shot when you need it

did you ask him how Snookie is doing?

My favorite I get all the time: "Georgia has a coast?!?!?"


One of my favorites happened to an employee of mine. He was at the ramp when a guy comes up, engine WOT but only goin 10MPH. He asked the guy whats wrong with his boat and the other guy told him he didnt know, it was the first boat he ever owned. So my employee, Jim, got in with him and they made a loop around. They get back to the ramp and Jim is scratchin his head when he realizes there is a line stretched taught from the bow. He thought this dumbazz has done ran over his bow line. Thats when Jim leans over the bow and sees the trailer still attached to the bottom of the boat.......

You can't make this schizz up people:you:

True story.
Two guys showed up at one of the barrier island deer hunts we were on. They were from Santee SC and sporting (I swear) a 14' pontoon boat.
About noon on the second day they decide to leave to get more groceries. A couple hours after dark the resident manager gets nervous and decides to contact the coast guard to look for them (being very over due) with no luck. About midnight they show up back at the dock.
Asked them what went on and if they had any problems. The only problem they had was trying to follow the "channel markers that kept simply running out". "But we finally made it back following the edge of the pond" (the sound).
They didn't believe me when I told them those "channel markers" were crab trap buoy's.