Mr Goldberg
 

>
>>
>> Mr. Goldberg wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The
>> doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now,
>> you probably won't remember, but you were in a pileup on the freeway.
>> You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but.....
>> something happened. I'm trying to break this gently... but the fact
>> is... your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find
>> it.'
>>
>> Goldberg groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance
>> compensation coming to you, and we have the technology to build you a
>> new penis that will work as well as your old one did... maybe even
>> better! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000.00 per
>> inch.'
>>
>> Goldberg perks up at this!! 'So,' the doctor says, 'It's for you to
>> decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss
>> with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you
>> decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But if you had
>> a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in five inches
>> this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a
>> role in helping you make the decision.'
>>
>> He agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day and
>> says, 'So, have you spoken with your wife?'
>>
>> 'I have,' says Mr. Goldberg.
>>
>> 'And has she helped you in making the decision?'
>>
>>
>> 'Yes, she has,' he says.
>>
>>
>> 'And what is it?' asks the doctor.
>>
>>
>> 'We're getting granite countertops.'
>>