Correct Way To Come Home Drunk
 

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I gohome after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up, and yells at me for staying out so late! His buddy looks at him and says 'Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the *** and say, WHO'S HORNY ????!!!' and she acts like she's sound asleep!


:happy::happy::happy::happy:

A good tactic vs. a long memory
 

This may be a good tactic at the moment. I suspect given the long memory of most women that this will come back to bite you when you least expect it. But isn't that how it usually works?

I just go sleep on the couch and act like I was there all night. Then all of a sudden the next morning my memory gets real bad. "What time did you get in last night?" she says....I'm like, "I'm not sure, it was around 11:30 or 12."

NOT!!
:beer: