Beer Theory
 

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then
I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to
drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry
about my liver."
Babe Ruth
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Lyndon B. Johnson (?)
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall
asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and
go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
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:beer:

I dont believe in any of that crap, how bout you CB?

Well ya ought to...yer livin' proof of the W.C. Fields quote:beer::you:

Some guys strive to get 6 pack abs. I've tried and tried and all I end up with is a keg! Billy Mac :beer:

Words of Wisdom - The Buffalo Theory by Cliff Claven

March 31, 2008 by slearl

http://hotlard.files.wordpress.com/2...pg?w=150&h=135Well you see, Norm, it’s like this … a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Working is the curse of the drinking class. :beer: