Things a southern boy wont say
 

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER
HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only eighteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

09. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

07. Checkmate

06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

04. I don't have a favorite college team.

03. You Guys.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY
SAY:

Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

Things a southern boy wont say
 

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER
HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only eighteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

09. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

07. Checkmate

06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

04. I don't have a favorite college team.

03. You Guys.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY
SAY:

Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

nope never said a one

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

nope never said a one

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Me neither 8)

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Me neither 8)

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

FISHBONE >:(

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

FISHBONE >:(

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

HAMMER, you had to know he has been lurking,
and I'll bet some of the other newbies are friends of his.
Did you ever notice on the list of people signed in,
there is almost always a guest.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

HAMMER, you had to know he has been lurking,
and I'll bet some of the other newbies are friends of his.
Did you ever notice on the list of people signed in,
there is almost always a guest.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Must be his Limo drivers signing in as guest.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Must be his Limo drivers signing in as guest.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#31 - I really want to move up north when I grow up.
;D

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#31 - I really want to move up north when I grow up.
;D

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#32 I like all these Northeners comming down here and teaching us how to live.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#32 I like all these Northeners comming down here and teaching us how to live.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Sorry about revivng all the old threads... :-/

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Sorry about revivng all the old threads... :-/

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

it's ok glad you are checking out the oldies some need a revisit.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

it's ok glad you are checking out the oldies some need a revisit.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

hey blue and turbs, i (we northeners) take #31 and #32 as a collective slap in the face.
now we northeners must come up with our own list.
hey everybody north of the mason dixon, or whatever you southern boys use to separate us. help me comprise a list of the top 30 things a southern boy would most likely say.

allow me to begin.

30. hey clem, brush your tooth before bed.

29. hey bobbie-jo, far up that thar newfangled stovie thang. weez cookin indoors t'night.

28. ima takin my best girl, cousin essie-may to the hootinannie t'night.


next?

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

hey blue and turbs, i (we northeners) take #31 and #32 as a collective slap in the face.
now we northeners must come up with our own list.
hey everybody north of the mason dixon, or whatever you southern boys use to separate us. help me comprise a list of the top 30 things a southern boy would most likely say.

allow me to begin.

30. hey clem, brush your tooth before bed.

29. hey bobbie-jo, far up that thar newfangled stovie thang. weez cookin indoors t'night.

28. ima takin my best girl, cousin essie-may to the hootinannie t'night.


next?

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#35,,,do you have a piece of dental floss

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#35,,,do you have a piece of dental floss

iRe: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Well CTT and Jaysea - I (along with the rest of the southern boys on here) consider #'s 30 and 35 a collective slap in the "tooth". ;D

BTW - A hootinannie is not somewhere you would want to take essie mae, she had more class than that. I'd take her to a pig pickin instead. ;)

#36 (thing he won't say) - Hey, it just snowed a half an inch - I reckon I'll go to work anyway ;D

iRe: Things a southern boy wont say
 

Well CTT and Jaysea - I (along with the rest of the southern boys on here) consider #'s 30 and 35 a collective slap in the "tooth". ;D

BTW - A hootinannie is not somewhere you would want to take essie mae, she had more class than that. I'd take her to a pig pickin instead. ;)

#36 (thing he won't say) - Hey, it just snowed a half an inch - I reckon I'll go to work anyway ;D

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

hey blue, a pig pickin. is that kinda like the southern version of speed dating?

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

hey blue, a pig pickin. is that kinda like the southern version of speed dating?

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.

26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.

26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

(thangs he WON'T say)

#37 - Doggoneit sally-mae - that Charlie the Tuner guy from up north shore is won smart feller.

#38 - Hey youz guyz - I'm working on my Joisey accent so that I can impress my buddies and hopefully attract more women folk.

#40 - Dam right I voted for Bush.

;D 8) :-*

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

(thangs he WON'T say)

#37 - Doggoneit sally-mae - that Charlie the Tuner guy from up north shore is won smart feller.

#38 - Hey youz guyz - I'm working on my Joisey accent so that I can impress my buddies and hopefully attract more women folk.

#40 - Dam right I voted for Bush.

;D 8) :-*

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

(THEY WON'T SAY...)
#41 - Well, its November 1st - time to put the V away for the winter :-[
;)

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

(THEY WON'T SAY...)
#41 - Well, its November 1st - time to put the V away for the winter :-[
;)

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#42- roll up the winder, her nips er gitten hard.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

#42- roll up the winder, her nips er gitten hard.

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

These are on the same lines,
I think I may have tried one or two of these.

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light
switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say
something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

These are on the same lines,
I think I may have tried one or two of these.

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light
switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say
something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

14. For a fat chick you don't sweat much!

15. Nice tooth!

Re: Things a southern boy wont say
 

14. For a fat chick you don't sweat much!

15. Nice tooth!