Mom had chemo on wed, she did good wed, but had some sickness the past few day's, also been sleeping a ton!
We had another uncle down from NY yesterday and she was up some to visit with him but it was a chore for her. He came in the morning and went home in the afternoon. Her sister wants to come down for a few days, but my mom says it going to be to much for her and she feels bad,I said just do what you can and she will understand, and I go there (30 min ride) every day any way so between me and brothers we will keep her busy!

keep her hydrated and let her sleep, chemo will get you down. You will have to set some rules with visitors, keep kids visit short, anyone with any kind of sickness needs to stay away, allow visits for a little amount of time each day, she needs her rest

Wow, my first visit in quite some time and I hear this.

MJ, I am very sorry for your Mom's illness and will pray for her well being and strength for you to support her through whatever happens.

Like someone else said, I don't do a good job of expressing my feeling about things like tis, so I'll leave it at that.

Thanks all!!

She had her chemo but since then she has been tired and not moving around much.
She is going to Doc tomorrow to have a port put in her chest for the chemo, so they don't have to use her arm anymore.
Biggest thing right now is tiring to get her some food in her, she has lost some 20 pounds in the last month, just can't seem to get anything to stay in? This is making her pretty weak, will be speaking to doc about it tomorrow.

Here's where medical marijuana would be good. Not only does it lift your spirits, but gives you the munchies. I had a friend go through chemo and the doc recommended it. I am guessing your Mom wouldn't be "groovy to that scene."

anyhow, still wishing you and your Mom the best.

rkc

the doctor can give her a prescription of the chemical(can't remember the name of it) that give you the munchies, don't worry, it doesn't do anything else, just makes you hungry. We had it for Kendall when she was going thur chemo, thought she was going to eat us out of our house and home. My mother drinks warm jello, its loaded with carbs. The military survival courses recomends it for use when you need high energy and caloric intake. Its easy on the stomach as well. They have been giving my mother a shot two days after chemo, its helps her get back on her feet after chemo, don't know whats its called, but it really helps, most hospitals won't use it unless you have real good insurance, I understand its $10,000 per shot, yeah you read that right, $10,000.00. If she starts taking oral chemo, be carefull with teh pills, they are $1200 per pill

We gave that to my mom-in-law (76) to help her through her final days. Wasn't "medical" brand, but it certainly helped. I really think it prolonged her life by several months, and she certainly felt better and was eating better due to it.

Well mom is not doing the best :sad: I have been going there most every day, sometimes she gets up but most she stays in bed.
She is always getting sick, and not eating. not that she isn't hungry, but the cancer is pretty bad in herb stomach that no matter what goes in doesn't stay there long.
I took her for her 2nd chemo yesterday and doc said she was to weak and admitted her to hospital to try to get her more stable. she has lost a ton of weight! I asked the doc what can we do to get something in her for food, he said its the cancer, and they can give her fluids but has for calories there is not much??
So he went on to say if we can not get her any stronger, he will not be able to give her any more chemo :head:
Mom then said what does that mean, "I am going to DIE now" doc said we going to try to help you and don't worry "We going to make you Comfortable" :cry:

As of today she only sleeps in the hospital not a great thing watching......

Thanks for listening!!

Thoughts and Prayers for your Mom and you MJ.

Another friend of mine is going through a similar situation with his Mom.

Very sorry to hear all of this MJ. Like Monkey Butler, I haven't been on here in a while, so it's sad to learn of things like this.

Praying for peace, comfort, and healing knowing the Good Lord is able, praying that He is willing.

it's a tough row to hoe, mj. been there with both my parents. in my situation , this is where i found the hospice people very helpful. they are more focused on the comfort aspect of the situation. both my parents were able to spend their final days at home, in their own bedroom.

most improtantly, be there all you can.

Hang in there MJ and your mom too....I have zero experience with that kind of thing as our families specialties are heart attacks with not alot if any warning. All I can say is do what you can.

:sad: Damn Sorry man.

:sad: oh man, I feel for you MJ.

Hang in there.

rkc

Very sorry Joe, praying for your mom and entire family.

I've been on chemo row.
God bless her and watch over her and the family.

It's never easy watching a loved one waste away. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both.

Hang in Joe, its not easy ....God bless all.

I'm really sorry to hear of your Moms situation. Its really hard to watch someone so close to you suffer through such a terrible sickness. We lost my mom in 08, she had stroke after stroke until her quality of life was about 10%. Its really hard to accept the fact that they are fighting such a hard battle, with little chance for rebound or recovery. The preacher told me one thing that stuck in my mind, he said sometimes there's worse things than dying. With my Mom's situation, I could see what he meant. I really feel for you and your family and hope and pray for a miracle.

Thanks all!!!

Heading to hos. in about 2 hours, doc said we should call hospice care to help now. he said before that if we had them come he would not be able to do chemo, some insurance issue?? but now that he isn't going to do anymore chemo, go and call.

Its tuff being helpless to my mom, when we were small she did everything for us!! My dad and her divorced in 1973, mom was left with 4 boys and no help from dad at all. she made sure we had all we needed no matter what we needed!! Now we can't repay her in her time of need :sad:

Sending prayers your way big guy.

I was just talking to MJ. Seems his Mom has taken a turn for the worse and her prognosis is not very good right now.
If they needed our thoughts and prayers, the time is now fellas.

Thanks CB for letting them know!

Mom got real sick, and doc said no chemo she was to weak. Put her in hospital to see if they could try and get her a bit stronger, she started to cough up ton;s of blood yesterday night, they put a tube in to suck all the blood out and gave her some more, they tested her and found a big tumor in her small intestine that caused the bleed and they also said its why she can't eat.
she need to get the tumor, but they said there is 2 ways to do it but she will not survive the operation!
So today was another hard day! she seems to be doing much better but we talked and decided to sign a DNR order, man was that hard! i have been pretty good around her till today, i lost it:cry::cry::cry::cry:
on top of that i am in charge of burial and all her banking and other stuff. never thought it was going to be this tuff!

sorry to hear, big guy. unfortunately i know just how tough this is gonna be. just make sure you tell your mom everything you wanted and dont leave any issues unresolved. keep your family together and gather strength from each other. you know i dont pray because i dont believe in a god who would let people suffer like this but just know we're all thinking about you in this very difficult time.
peace brother.

These are the hardest times a person can face. I'm so very sorry for you and your mom MJ.. Many, many prayers going your way.

I don't know how you feel about this, but you say she has a tumor that she will not survive the operation to get at...to my way of thinking if getting the tumor might give her additional time, then if it were me in her position I'd tell the docs to go get the damn thing. I think I'd like to choose the way I go out, and I'd like to go out fighting, not laying around waiting for it to happen. Just me and my two cents, I hope you're not offended by it. No harm is meant.. I just feel that even a 1% chance is better than 0%. :(

Sorry to hear this...

Thanks for the support guys!!

She was a little more awake today, and seemed better! But we know the truth.

I am in no way offended!! I have thought the same way, but its up to her and she says no! she is done with cutting and all the crap!! she is really taking this better then anyone else.
she was also not under standing the DNR and wanted it done a different way with conditions, doc told her its yes or no nothing in between!
so after we spoke i said the best way is let them try to save you, and if they can great, but when the doc tells me you are gone, i will get the brothers together and we will tell him to let you go, i promise i will not let you be on all them machines, and she agreed and thanked me.
but that's another thing that i hope i never have to do!! just hope in the end its fast and painless for her!!

MJ...I know the end came pretty quietly for my mom in 2008...she was in a nursing home and just kind of drifted away...interesting; the ladies who work there, told us to the day when she would pass 3 days in advance...after a while, they can see it coming...they just know...

Stay strong Brother. Like Charlie said, be there for her and the rest of your family, and let them be there for you too. God bless ya'll.

Amen :sad:

I just want to say how very sorry i am for you Mj

my mom
 

mj so sorry to here the latest on your mother. i know it is a very tough time for you and your family. i went through this last january with my mother. be there all you can,hold her hand and talk to her. you may not think that she understands or can her you but i am here to tell you she can!!!!!!!tell her its ok you understand.hospice told us that sometimes a loved one will try to stay with us because they feel like there are letting us down.tell her its ok to go be with the lord!!! keep strong brother!!!!!!!

well just got home, doc called a meeting tonight with my mother and her 4 boys, we all met with him at the hosiptal. he then told us that the tumor is not oprabale and that he is changing her meds, after a little more info we are having hospice come in and get the house set up for her.
we then have the right to bring her home! at this time knowing what he told her and us she stated that she wants the DNR now. i explained it all to her again and she stated it not going to make a difference so why not, so we signed it tonight.

he also told us that she will be gone in a few weeks!! a month at best:sad: she then asked how will it happen?? :cry: he stated that tye pain will be getting worse by then and he will give her more pain meds to keep her comfortable and as the time gets closer she will get more and more tired till she goes to sleep and she will just pass, man i about hit the floor!!:zip:
she is taking it very well!

so tomorrow we will start getting the house ready for her and she will be home this weekend.
its going to be a hard few weeks!

once again, sorry your family is having to go through this. hospice will give you a pamphlet type book explaining what to expect and what time line you are looking at. i found this to be extremely accurate and it was a comfort to know what to expect. when they assign a nurse, have a heart to heart with him/her , they usually have a better idea than the docs as to what is ahead. try to spend as much time as you can with your mom, even if she is sleeping. my mom would often awake early in the morning and that was when she was the most lucid and wanted to talk.

Damn..

I know both of my parents would have liked to pass at home (esp my Mom), but when the time came it just wasn't feasible.

Keep on doing all you can for her and hang in there yourself.

I feel your pain...

rkc

Thanks All!

mom is coming home tomorrow, she has said for years now that she never wanted to be put in a nursing home or anything!!! She always said she wanted to die at home, and she asked to go home yesterday!!
Well after talking with doc last night i called hospice this morning at 9am, they meet me at thye hosiptal at 1:30 pj, after a 1 hour meeting they ordered a hosptai bed, walker, wheelchair, and all meds and other things we will need to get her home. Boy they are fast all was delivered at her house today at 4:30pm!!
The doc called 6pm to answer some questions i had on her meds, as there was a question on soime of the meds that needed to be cleared up.
I also called my uncle in NY as she wants to be put with her mother anf father, so I need to know the cost of everything.

I wrote her a letter for mothers day a few weeks ago, but she might not make it? So I am going to give it to her soon, here it is

:clap:Only real men can talk to and about their mother in those terms...you stepped up to a tough plate, MJ...

Like Reel just said, only real men, men that are secure in themselves, can talk in those terms. I tell my mom every chance I get that I love her. I just wish I would have told my father before he died. It's a regret that I'll carry for the rest of my life. Telling your mom now is the best thing that you can do for both of you. God bless you both.

That is some very difficult news to hear. So sorry for you and your family.

The mother's day card is especially touching....I appreciate you sharing that with us. The hand written cards do mean so much more than anything you could buy.

I for one am going to make a point to tell my parents how much I love them, and tell them often.