Joke of the day, Jokes go here, be Nice collection

[macojoe]

A Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.
A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking
of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist".

That's when the proctologist fainted

[reelapeelin]

LOL, MJ...

Difference between a proctologist and a sales manager...proctologist only deals w/ ONE a$$hole at a time...

[macojoe]

LOL

[macojoe]

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type
real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really
seam to respond to me well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job
thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay
me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
taken !
at my last jobb.

http://syncboard.com/albums/My-Porn/pic226681.jpg


Employer's response:......


Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check

[captbent]

;DI NEED ONE LIKE THAT ;D ;D ;D

[captbent]

O THATS TWO

[willy]

Normaly I have always thought my hands were big enough, but sweet Lord I wish they were bigger now :o

[captbent]

O YES SHE WOULD LOOK NICE ON MY BOW

[Hammerhead]

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" and "My Life" by Bill
Clinton. One smart assed student turned in the following book report, with
the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave
him an A+ for his report.

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read.

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent
catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent
catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullsh_t artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her ***elry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Bill doesn't remember Jack sh_t.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica... hell lets not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary.... basically the same thing

[Blue_Runner]

A blonde's geometry test answer:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v462/Toprod/w98ox5.gif

[reelapeelin]

"Technically" she's right...and if she looks like the blonde above, I'd give her and "A" anyway ;D 8) ...