Things a southern boy wont say

[turbinedoctor]

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER
HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only eighteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

09. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

07. Checkmate

06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

04. I don't have a favorite college team.

03. You Guys.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY
SAY:

Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

[turbinedoctor]

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER
HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only eighteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

09. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

07. Checkmate

06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

04. I don't have a favorite college team.

03. You Guys.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY
SAY:

Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

[fishbonejr]

nope never said a one

[fishbonejr]

nope never said a one

[bradford]

Me neither 8)

[bradford]

Me neither 8)

[msbhammer]

FISHBONE >:(

[msbhammer]

FISHBONE >:(

[parishht]

HAMMER, you had to know he has been lurking,
and I'll bet some of the other newbies are friends of his.
Did you ever notice on the list of people signed in,
there is almost always a guest.

[parishht]

HAMMER, you had to know he has been lurking,
and I'll bet some of the other newbies are friends of his.
Did you ever notice on the list of people signed in,
there is almost always a guest.

[msbhammer]

Must be his Limo drivers signing in as guest.

[msbhammer]

Must be his Limo drivers signing in as guest.

[Blue_Runner]

#31 - I really want to move up north when I grow up.
;D

[Blue_Runner]

#31 - I really want to move up north when I grow up.
;D

[turbinedoctor]

#32 I like all these Northeners comming down here and teaching us how to live.

[turbinedoctor]

#32 I like all these Northeners comming down here and teaching us how to live.

[bradford]

Sorry about revivng all the old threads... :-/

[bradford]

Sorry about revivng all the old threads... :-/

[Skools Out]

it's ok glad you are checking out the oldies some need a revisit.

[Skools Out]

it's ok glad you are checking out the oldies some need a revisit.

[charlie_the_tuna]

hey blue and turbs, i (we northeners) take #31 and #32 as a collective slap in the face.
now we northeners must come up with our own list.
hey everybody north of the mason dixon, or whatever you southern boys use to separate us. help me comprise a list of the top 30 things a southern boy would most likely say.

allow me to begin.

30. hey clem, brush your tooth before bed.

29. hey bobbie-jo, far up that thar newfangled stovie thang. weez cookin indoors t'night.

28. ima takin my best girl, cousin essie-may to the hootinannie t'night.


next?

[charlie_the_tuna]

hey blue and turbs, i (we northeners) take #31 and #32 as a collective slap in the face.
now we northeners must come up with our own list.
hey everybody north of the mason dixon, or whatever you southern boys use to separate us. help me comprise a list of the top 30 things a southern boy would most likely say.

allow me to begin.

30. hey clem, brush your tooth before bed.

29. hey bobbie-jo, far up that thar newfangled stovie thang. weez cookin indoors t'night.

28. ima takin my best girl, cousin essie-may to the hootinannie t'night.


next?

[jaysea]

#35,,,do you have a piece of dental floss

[jaysea]

#35,,,do you have a piece of dental floss

[Blue_Runner]

Well CTT and Jaysea - I (along with the rest of the southern boys on here) consider #'s 30 and 35 a collective slap in the "tooth". ;D

BTW - A hootinannie is not somewhere you would want to take essie mae, she had more class than that. I'd take her to a pig pickin instead. ;)

#36 (thing he won't say) - Hey, it just snowed a half an inch - I reckon I'll go to work anyway ;D

[Blue_Runner]

Well CTT and Jaysea - I (along with the rest of the southern boys on here) consider #'s 30 and 35 a collective slap in the "tooth". ;D

BTW - A hootinannie is not somewhere you would want to take essie mae, she had more class than that. I'd take her to a pig pickin instead. ;)

#36 (thing he won't say) - Hey, it just snowed a half an inch - I reckon I'll go to work anyway ;D

[charlie_the_tuna]

hey blue, a pig pickin. is that kinda like the southern version of speed dating?

[charlie_the_tuna]

hey blue, a pig pickin. is that kinda like the southern version of speed dating?

[charlie_the_tuna]

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.

26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

[charlie_the_tuna]

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.

26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

[Blue_Runner]

(thangs he WON'T say)

#37 - Doggoneit sally-mae - that Charlie the Tuner guy from up north shore is won smart feller.

#38 - Hey youz guyz - I'm working on my Joisey accent so that I can impress my buddies and hopefully attract more women folk.

#40 - Dam right I voted for Bush.

;D 8) :-*

[Blue_Runner]

(thangs he WON'T say)

#37 - Doggoneit sally-mae - that Charlie the Tuner guy from up north shore is won smart feller.

#38 - Hey youz guyz - I'm working on my Joisey accent so that I can impress my buddies and hopefully attract more women folk.

#40 - Dam right I voted for Bush.

;D 8) :-*

[Blue_Runner]

(THEY WON'T SAY...)
#41 - Well, its November 1st - time to put the V away for the winter :-[
;)

[Blue_Runner]

(THEY WON'T SAY...)
#41 - Well, its November 1st - time to put the V away for the winter :-[
;)

[frayed_knot]

#42- roll up the winder, her nips er gitten hard.

[frayed_knot]

#42- roll up the winder, her nips er gitten hard.

[parishht]

These are on the same lines,
I think I may have tried one or two of these.

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light
switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say
something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

[parishht]

These are on the same lines,
I think I may have tried one or two of these.

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light
switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say
something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

[EngstromNK]

14. For a fat chick you don't sweat much!

15. Nice tooth!

[EngstromNK]

14. For a fat chick you don't sweat much!

15. Nice tooth!

[bradford]

You might be a redneck if your wife's ever said:

"Honey, come move this transmission so I can take a bath"

[bradford]

You might be a redneck if your wife's ever said:

"Honey, come move this transmission so I can take a bath"

[turbinedoctor]

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.
26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

CTT you are correct in thinking a southern boy would never say #26 or #27. We hold our dogs in much higher regards then any northener. ;D

[turbinedoctor]

ok, i guess im on my own here.

27. hey sally-mae, that ol houndog finally up an died. boy, ain he gon be delicious.
26. we gon need some taters to go with that ol houndog.

25. got me a big ol jug a shine and i'll be home around tuesday.

CTT you are correct in thinking a southern boy would never say #26 or #27. We hold our dogs in much higher regards then any northener. ;D

[jaysea]

a drunk southern girls pick up line,,,, im not just another prittey face ,im also very S M R T

[jaysea]

a drunk southern girls pick up line,,,, im not just another prittey face ,im also very S M R T

[TMcGovern]

What's the difference between a Northern girl and a Southern girl?
A Northern girls says yes you can...a Southern girl say yes Y'all can... ;D

[TMcGovern]

What's the difference between a Northern girl and a Southern girl?
A Northern girls says yes you can...a Southern girl say yes Y'all can... ;D

[THEFERMANATOR]

What's the difference between a northerners story and a southerners story?

A northerner starts there story off once upon a time.
A southerner starts off his story with, YA"LL AINT GONNA BELIEVE THIS $HIT!

[THEFERMANATOR]

What's the difference between a northerners story and a southerners story?

A northerner starts there story off once upon a time.
A southerner starts off his story with, YA"LL AINT GONNA BELIEVE THIS $HIT!

[turbinedoctor]

A northeners house at the bottom of the hill is on fire and a truck load of hillbillys comes rushing down the hill and drives right into the middle of the house. Everybody jumps out and starts stomping, kicking and swatting there hats and puts out the fire. The northener thanks them and gives them a $500 reward for saving the house, then asks what they are going to do with all that money. The father hillbilly replies, "The first thing I'm going to do is fix the brakes on that dad burn truck".

[turbinedoctor]

A northeners house at the bottom of the hill is on fire and a truck load of hillbillys comes rushing down the hill and drives right into the middle of the house. Everybody jumps out and starts stomping, kicking and swatting there hats and puts out the fire. The northener thanks them and gives them a $500 reward for saving the house, then asks what they are going to do with all that money. The father hillbilly replies, "The first thing I'm going to do is fix the brakes on that dad burn truck".

[turbinedoctor]

#43 we got to stop Sally Mae, I forgot the condums.

[turbinedoctor]

#43 we got to stop Sally Mae, I forgot the condums.

[turbinedoctor]

#44 could I have another glass of wine.

#45 President Clinton should be ashamed of himself.

[turbinedoctor]

#44 could I have another glass of wine.

#45 President Clinton should be ashamed of himself.