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bradford
07-18-2014, 10:47 PM
Gentlemen,

A group of us in Savannah are considering investing in a large cat ranch near Hermosillo, Mexico. It is our intention to start rather small with about one million cats. Each cat averages about twelve kittens each year; skins can be sold for about twenty cents for the white ones and up to forty cents for the black. This will give us twelve million cat skins per year to sell at an average price of around thirty-two cents, making revenue about $3 million a year. This averages out to about $10 thousand a day excluding Sundays and holidays.

A good Mexican cat man can skin about fifty cats per day at a wage of $3.15 a day. It will take only 633 men to operate the ranch, so the net profit would be over $8,200 per day.

Now, the cats would be fed on rats exclusively. Rats multiply four times faster than cats. We would start a rat ranch adjacent to our cat ranch. If we started with four million rats, we will have four rats per cat per day. The rats will be fed on the carcasses of the cats we skin. This will give each rat a quarter of cat per day. You can see by this that the business is a clean operation, self-supporting, and really automatic throughout. The cats will eat the rats, and the rats will eat the cats, and we will get the skins.

We plan to organize a Mexican corporation with one centavo par value stock. This is equal to .0008 share, American currency. We plan to sell 99,000,000 shares at par. This is $79,200.00 American dollars, or is it $792.00?

Eventually, it is our hope to cross the cats with snakes because snakes skin themselves twice a year. This will save the labor costs of skinning the cats as well as giving us two skins per cat per year.

Let me know if you are interested. As you can imagine, we're rather particular whom we want in this deal. And we want the fewest investors possible.

Sincerely yours,

Bradford

smokeonthewater
07-18-2014, 10:58 PM
:beer:

tsubaki
07-19-2014, 04:32 AM
The physical location or address of the donation box would be greatly appreciated.

phatdaddy
07-19-2014, 08:07 PM
can i pay u in cats? my inlaws have a similar ranch in georgia, but they can't seem to ever skin any.

Destroyer
07-19-2014, 11:10 PM
Brad, count me in. I think you've hit on something here. If I could though, may I make one tiny suggestion? Instead of gorging the rats on the cat carcasses, why not give them just an eighth of a cat per day? Cats are big, and rats are small in comparison, so an eighth of a cat would be more than enough. That would leave half of your pre-skinned cat carcasses for sale, or roughly 6 million skinned cats per year. The Chinese Food take-out market is bursting right now, and with such a readily available supply of cat meat I feel we could corner the market in a little less than a year, at which time we could slowly start raising prices on the cat meat. At only a dollar per cat, that would equal an additional $6 million a year.

bradford
07-20-2014, 02:54 PM
Tsubaki address is:

Bradford's Place
Box #7 Coon Trail Rd.
Cabbage Island, Georgia

Phatdaddy we will be glad to issue a discount to you.

Destroyer I like the way you think. It's men like you who we will need to make this endeavor all it can be.