My Mom

[macojoe]

Today is her 73rd Birthday!!:happy:

But that's the good news as, My mom has not felt well for a few years now, and 3 weeks ago she went to a walk in center as she was not feeling well.
They then sent her to a x-ray and then for a cat scan, after which they said they thought she had Cancer!
Long story but after the last 3 weeks and many, many test's she was told yesterday with me and my 3 brothers at her side that she has stage 4 Small-cell carcinoma, it is in her lungs, brain,stomach, and chest!!
After a long talk with the Doc they are going to start Chemo next week, But this is just try and make things a little better as she is very ill and lots of pain.
The Doc then went on to say she will most likely DIE with-in the year!!

The prognosis is far worse in extensive stage small cell lung carcinoma, with treatment, median survival is just 8***8211;13 months, and only 1-5% of patients with extensive stage small cell lung carcinoma treated with chemotherapy live 5 years

We were floored!:sad:

We have friends and relatives from out of state coming in this weekend for what we hope will be a Great B-Day party for her !

But she has no desire to see anyone or even go out of the house, which i can understand. But I really want to make her last days GREAT.
I have offered to take her on vacation any where she wants! I mean anywhere!! And she wants to do nothing,I am hoping this will change? But maybe its more what I want then her? She has had a very hard life and at times very difficult, not to mention 4 sons that really treated her poorly in are young years. But we all have turned out pretty well because of her!! And all Love her very much!

Sorry to go on and on everyone!! But if you can all keep her in your Prayers as she is very religious, it will be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks for listening!

[Stinky_Hooker]

Prayers sent brother! I wish you and your family well! As Im sure your mother already knows, the doctors only know what The Great Physician has empowered them with. Let them do what he has taught them and HE will take care of the rest!

[Kracker Jack]

Your mother and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[phatdaddy]

sorry to hear that mj, went through similar situation with my dad. we were able to get hospice involved from the begining and they were a great help.

[Cam]

Very sorry to hear this and of course prayers are in order for her......mayb, just maybe, she will beat this. My fingers are crossed for you and her.

[spareparts]

My mother is 78 and has been going thru treatment since the spring of 09. She went thru a hysterectomy, radiation, chemo and was given a similar prognosis. She was initially deeply depressed, she still is a bit at times, but shes come to adjust to it and accept it as part of her life. She used my daughter as inspiration to get thru the tough times of chemo. My daughter told her is she could handle it, then grandma could. My mother has surpassed the expectations of the doctors.
It's a tough situation, it seems my family has been in it in one way or another for the past 10 years. We looked at it initially as why have we been singled out, it didn't take us long to figure out we're not singled out, cancer is all around us every where, people are living and fighting it every day, everywhere you go. We are now involved with three different organizations that deal with cancer in children. We've meet and lost some good friends, its when we are surrounded with others that we realize that we haven't been singled out. My family has been strengthened by the people we've met thru it all. My mother now looks forward to the time at chemo so she can talk to the other patients there, shes met a lot of new friends, young and old, its a common bond thru them all. Her water aerobics class(part of her rehabilitation process) is the highlight of her week. I'm not going to patronize anyone by saying "its going to get better" and all the other cliche's that we hear. And as hard as it sounds, it is part of life, just one more challenge that we have to endure. When my wife went thru treatment and operations, she told me she was looking at it (much to my dismay) as the boob reduction she always wanted. One day when she was pumping gas, a women(complete stranger) noticed my wife( no hair from chemo) and walked up to her, she told my wife it was OK, this women was also survivor. My wife had been in the dumps that day, but those words from a complete stranger lifted her spirits. Our friend Erik went thru gamma knife treatment yesterday, he's taking today off, but he's going back to school tomorrow. He's had the maximum amount of radiation allowed for his life, he's still taking chemo each day and will for a while. He's determined to graduate high school and get accepted to college, at 17 years old he's been given a 30% chance of making it to his next birthday, this will be his forth time fighting cancer at his young age. he accepts it as another challenge of his life, he's determined to live and not let it run his life.
Best wishes to you and your mother, our family will keep you both in our prayers. Tell your mother to keep her head up, its just another day and another challenge of life, we all go thru it each and everyday.

[willy]

My prayers to you and your Mom, sorry to hear this.

[Blue_Runner]

Thoughts and prayers MJ. What a tough thing for your family to find out.

[RWilson2526]

We'll be thinking about you and your mom....

[RidgeRunner]

What a blow. It takes a while to process the bad news, the sooner she comes to realize there is nothing she can do about it, the better. The acceptance stage takes some time. She will come around. When she does, I hope you get to treat her to something nice. Going down that road is never easy but a positive mindset and prayer beat the dickens out of depression and bitterness for all concerned..
I just got a clean report for the 13th year running. I remember when I got the bad news like it was yesterday. Hang in there.

[randlemanboater]

Happy birthday to your mom!

I will keep her in my prayers.

As Im sure your mother already knows, the doctors only know what The Great Physician has empowered them with. Let them do what he has taught them and HE will take care of the rest!

AMEN!

[macojoe]

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

We are having a small get together tonight for her birthday, and a big outing is planed for her and all sat. night.

I am hopping to let her read this when she is feeling a little bit, in hopes she would feel a little better that other people care, Thanks all for your kind words!!

[tsubaki]

MJ, give her our best wishes and Happy Birthday too!
You also take care, prayers and thoughts to you both.

[lumberslinger178]

My prayers are with you and your family .....give her a hug as often as you can ....it helps...

[cfelton]

Tell your Mom Happy Birthday from all of us! Really sorry to hear that kind of news, we're all praying for her and your family. Spend as much time with your parents as you can, its probably the best thing you can do for both of you. I lost my dad suddenly from a heart attack almost 32 years ago and my mom 4 years ago from strokes. I know what you're going through and its extremely tough. Keep your chin up, the man upstairs is looking after all of us. She's still here, enjoy every minute you have!

[charlie_the_tuna]

sorry to hear, big guy. i wish your mom many more birthdays. peace.

[Destroyer]

Mj...Miracles really do happen with prayer. My mom is a colon cancer survivor for 35 years now.. and she was given less than a year to live. Prayers do help, as well as a positive attitude and a will to survive.
So Happy Birthday to your mom, and as my Birthday present I'll add my prayers to those that are already promised... And like it says in my sig, Leave the rest to God.

[macojoe]

Thanks again guys!!

We had a small cake for her tonight and will be having a Big party Saturday night for her.
Not sure she is up to it, but we are going to do it any way, just can't lay there and wait for it!
She was able to get out of the room tonight and have a small piece of cake with us which was great! But kept going in and out of her room from time to time.
I told her that I have told all of you and at first she was mad, saying I don't want everyone on Facebook to see it! I said it was my site not Facebook and she felt a bit better about it but would not come and read it as of yet.

But she will at some point and I will make sure of that!

[spareparts]

my wife tells me this is my "facebook", I tell her its better, no one here is writing crap I don't want to read about :sun:

[reelapeelin]

Happy Birthday to your mom!!:happy:


I think Ridge is right...it'll take some time, but hopefully she'll want to go out and do some things for herself and others...you guys have faced some pretty tough health issues up there...we'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best...

[Hedge]

Sending Prayers your way. Watching a parent suffer is very difficult.

[yodaddy]

Happy Birthday wishes to your Mom MJ. Our prayers are that God would heal her, and grant her many more years.

[lathehand]

MJ I added you and your mom to my prayer list.Be sure to tell her as often as you can the words I love you .Don't know any women who don't feel better hereing them.

[twhrider2]

MJ, Mom and family are in our thoughts. Never easy to see our moms deal with these kind of things. Hang in there and best wishes to you all.

[macojoe]

Thanks!!

Last night was a good night for her, i brought my uncle (her brother) from NY over there and had a good visit!
Was talking to her and we manged to talk her into going out with us tonight to get dinner. i going to get her a nice lobster! she said she did not know how much she could eat?? i said no matter she can take home and eat whats left.
what she does not know is i have 30 people going there to celebrate her birthday :happy:
i am having all go there first and we will come in and met them! hoping she has a good day today so she can enjoy it!!

[garagenc]

Sorry to hear about your Mom MJ. I just went thru a scare mine turned out negative but until you get "the test" results you have thousands of things go thru your mind, waht needs to be done right then what info everone needs to know etc.

Hope she has a great time.

[wellcraftv20step]

MJ, Having been through this so many times with my mom and sister it helps to be as possitive as you can .and have faith in God. I will have your family in my prayers.

[bradford]

Tell your Mom we said Happy Birthday. Ya'll are in our prayers.

[macojoe]

Well it was not a good day for mom :cen: she slept most of day waking just for fluids and pain meds.
I went to her house early in the day and tried to get her up and moving but no luck.
I met all at the restaurant later on and we had a great dinner but it was depressing that it was for mom and she could not make it.

Today was much the same, nothing to eat never coming out of bed. Going to call tomorrow about getting some help for her as far as showers and personal care.
Doc says she is so week that he is not even sure he can start chemo on Wed??
Just a month ago she was sick and getting around, now just watch her barely able to move around. Doc says she was very strong and thats why it took so long to put her down.

[Road King Cole]

Very sorry to hear this. (Just saw the post as I am recovering from a bad flu).

Sorry, I suck at writing encouraging thoughts. Believe me, I feel your pain and I wish you, your family and mom well.

Hang in there MJ,

rkc

[CaptJ]

MJ, sorry to hear the bad news. Your mom and family are in our prayers.

[step up here]

very sorry to hear about mom
prayers sent!

[macojoe]

Thanks all!!

I was there all day mother sitting 2 day while my brother had to get some thins done, she was awake and talking to me the whole time! :love:

I called the Daner Farber Cancer center today and explained all, We are having all records faxed there tomorrow and then they will make her a appointment with there people for a 2nd opinion.
she said she did not want to piss off her current doctor, i said you will not!! Hell if someone told me i was going to die you bet your *** i want to know they were right or wrong! Heck i had a 2nd for my eye surgery!
Also called Hospice today to see if they can offer some help in a few areas also.
So we are trying to get things taken care of for her, she is to start chemo on wed, Hope that goes well for her??

Sorry if I am boring you guys but its nice to vent here!

Thanks!!

[Destroyer]

Sorry if I am boring you guys but its nice to vent here!

Thanks!!

MJ that's what real friends are for... They stay with you in the bad times as well as the good. You're not boring, and you're not venting. You're trying to work your way through a terrible situation. I wish we could do more than just listen and pray, but sometimes that's all that's needed. Hang in there bro.

[Mac_Attack]

MJ sorry to hear about your mother. My prayers areher and your family.

[Road King Cole]

That's great you are going to dana farber. I had the same issues with both of my parents trying to get them out of toby into boston.

Doctors are used to that, no need to worry.

Keep us updated!

rkc

[chumbucket]

I told MJ to check out Dana-Farber as they now have a satellite facility in Weymouth. I went there for some treatments and they are fantastic over there. And it's still much easier than going into Boston as I had done in the past.
I think his Mom will like them.

[macojoe]

yes and we are having all faxed there tomorrow.
thanks CB!

Hospice person meet with us today and were very helpful!! her doc would talk to them today and they wanted to come tomorrow, but i said its her first day of chemo that thur might be a better option for them to come and get her in rolled with there program.

They offer a nurse 24-7-365 for what ever she may need even a visit at 3 am if they can't help on the phone! Also a personal care person to help with showers, light cleaning, heat up or make simple meals, volunteers for companion ship , even church at home!
Everything is FREE! with her health ins.

[bradford]

Keep us posted MJ. Some of us have gone through similar situations in the past and some of us will sometime in the future. God bless.

[aussie]

my mother is 78 and has been going thru treatment since the spring of 09. She went thru a hysterectomy, radiation, chemo and was given a similar prognosis. She was initially deeply depressed, she still is a bit at times, but shes come to adjust to it and accept it as part of her life. She used my daughter as inspiration to get thru the tough times of chemo. My daughter told her is she could handle it, then grandma could. My mother has surpassed the expectations of the doctors.
It's a tough situation, it seems my family has been in it in one way or another for the past 10 years. We looked at it initially as why have we been singled out, it didn't take us long to figure out we're not singled out, cancer is all around us every where, people are living and fighting it every day, everywhere you go. We are now involved with three different organizations that deal with cancer in children. We've meet and lost some good friends, its when we are surrounded with others that we realize that we haven't been singled out. My family has been strengthened by the people we've met thru it all. My mother now looks forward to the time at chemo so she can talk to the other patients there, shes met a lot of new friends, young and old, its a common bond thru them all. Her water aerobics class(part of her rehabilitation process) is the highlight of her week. I'm not going to patronize anyone by saying "its going to get better" and all the other cliche's that we hear. And as hard as it sounds, it is part of life, just one more challenge that we have to endure. When my wife went thru treatment and operations, she told me she was looking at it (much to my dismay) as the boob reduction she always wanted. One day when she was pumping gas, a women(complete stranger) noticed my wife( no hair from chemo) and walked up to her, she told my wife it was ok, this women was also survivor. My wife had been in the dumps that day, but those words from a complete stranger lifted her spirits. Our friend erik went thru gamma knife treatment yesterday, he's taking today off, but he's going back to school tomorrow. He's had the maximum amount of radiation allowed for his life, he's still taking chemo each day and will for a while. He's determined to graduate high school and get accepted to college, at 17 years old he's been given a 30% chance of making it to his next birthday, this will be his forth time fighting cancer at his young age. He accepts it as another challenge of his life, he's determined to live and not let it run his life.
Best wishes to you and your mother, our family will keep you both in our prayers. Tell your mother to keep her head up, its just another day and another challenge of life, we all go thru it each and everyday.well said spares im lost for words

[macojoe]

Mom had chemo on wed, she did good wed, but had some sickness the past few day's, also been sleeping a ton!
We had another uncle down from NY yesterday and she was up some to visit with him but it was a chore for her. He came in the morning and went home in the afternoon. Her sister wants to come down for a few days, but my mom says it going to be to much for her and she feels bad,I said just do what you can and she will understand, and I go there (30 min ride) every day any way so between me and brothers we will keep her busy!

[spareparts]

keep her hydrated and let her sleep, chemo will get you down. You will have to set some rules with visitors, keep kids visit short, anyone with any kind of sickness needs to stay away, allow visits for a little amount of time each day, she needs her rest

[Monkey Butler]

Wow, my first visit in quite some time and I hear this.

MJ, I am very sorry for your Mom's illness and will pray for her well being and strength for you to support her through whatever happens.

Like someone else said, I don't do a good job of expressing my feeling about things like tis, so I'll leave it at that.

[macojoe]

Thanks all!!

She had her chemo but since then she has been tired and not moving around much.
She is going to Doc tomorrow to have a port put in her chest for the chemo, so they don't have to use her arm anymore.
Biggest thing right now is tiring to get her some food in her, she has lost some 20 pounds in the last month, just can't seem to get anything to stay in? This is making her pretty weak, will be speaking to doc about it tomorrow.

[Road King Cole]

Here's where medical marijuana would be good. Not only does it lift your spirits, but gives you the munchies. I had a friend go through chemo and the doc recommended it. I am guessing your Mom wouldn't be "groovy to that scene."

anyhow, still wishing you and your Mom the best.

rkc

[spareparts]

the doctor can give her a prescription of the chemical(can't remember the name of it) that give you the munchies, don't worry, it doesn't do anything else, just makes you hungry. We had it for Kendall when she was going thur chemo, thought she was going to eat us out of our house and home. My mother drinks warm jello, its loaded with carbs. The military survival courses recomends it for use when you need high energy and caloric intake. Its easy on the stomach as well. They have been giving my mother a shot two days after chemo, its helps her get back on her feet after chemo, don't know whats its called, but it really helps, most hospitals won't use it unless you have real good insurance, I understand its $10,000 per shot, yeah you read that right, $10,000.00. If she starts taking oral chemo, be carefull with teh pills, they are $1200 per pill

[Destroyer]

Here's where medical marijuana would be good. Not only does it lift your spirits, but gives you the munchies. I had a friend go through chemo and the doc recommended it. I am guessing your Mom wouldn't be "groovy to that scene."

anyhow, still wishing you and your Mom the best.

rkc

We gave that to my mom-in-law (76) to help her through her final days. Wasn't "medical" brand, but it certainly helped. I really think it prolonged her life by several months, and she certainly felt better and was eating better due to it.

[macojoe]

Well mom is not doing the best :sad: I have been going there most every day, sometimes she gets up but most she stays in bed.
She is always getting sick, and not eating. not that she isn't hungry, but the cancer is pretty bad in herb stomach that no matter what goes in doesn't stay there long.
I took her for her 2nd chemo yesterday and doc said she was to weak and admitted her to hospital to try to get her more stable. she has lost a ton of weight! I asked the doc what can we do to get something in her for food, he said its the cancer, and they can give her fluids but has for calories there is not much??
So he went on to say if we can not get her any stronger, he will not be able to give her any more chemo :head:
Mom then said what does that mean, "I am going to DIE now" doc said we going to try to help you and don't worry "We going to make you Comfortable" :cry:

As of today she only sleeps in the hospital not a great thing watching......

Thanks for listening!!

[bradford]

Thoughts and Prayers for your Mom and you MJ.

Another friend of mine is going through a similar situation with his Mom.

[Bygracealone]

Very sorry to hear all of this MJ. Like Monkey Butler, I haven't been on here in a while, so it's sad to learn of things like this.

Praying for peace, comfort, and healing knowing the Good Lord is able, praying that He is willing.

[phatdaddy]

it's a tough row to hoe, mj. been there with both my parents. in my situation , this is where i found the hospice people very helpful. they are more focused on the comfort aspect of the situation. both my parents were able to spend their final days at home, in their own bedroom.

most improtantly, be there all you can.

[RWilson2526]

Hang in there MJ and your mom too....I have zero experience with that kind of thing as our families specialties are heart attacks with not alot if any warning. All I can say is do what you can.

[Destroyer]

:sad: Damn Sorry man.

[Road King Cole]

:sad: oh man, I feel for you MJ.

Hang in there.

rkc

[Blue_Runner]

Very sorry Joe, praying for your mom and entire family.

[RidgeRunner]

I've been on chemo row.
God bless her and watch over her and the family.

[lathehand]

It's never easy watching a loved one waste away. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both.

[lumberslinger178]

Hang in Joe, its not easy ....God bless all.

[cfelton]

I'm really sorry to hear of your Moms situation. Its really hard to watch someone so close to you suffer through such a terrible sickness. We lost my mom in 08, she had stroke after stroke until her quality of life was about 10%. Its really hard to accept the fact that they are fighting such a hard battle, with little chance for rebound or recovery. The preacher told me one thing that stuck in my mind, he said sometimes there's worse things than dying. With my Mom's situation, I could see what he meant. I really feel for you and your family and hope and pray for a miracle.

[macojoe]

Thanks all!!!

Heading to hos. in about 2 hours, doc said we should call hospice care to help now. he said before that if we had them come he would not be able to do chemo, some insurance issue?? but now that he isn't going to do anymore chemo, go and call.

Its tuff being helpless to my mom, when we were small she did everything for us!! My dad and her divorced in 1973, mom was left with 4 boys and no help from dad at all. she made sure we had all we needed no matter what we needed!! Now we can't repay her in her time of need :sad:

[Stinky_Hooker]

Sending prayers your way big guy.

[chumbucket]

I was just talking to MJ. Seems his Mom has taken a turn for the worse and her prognosis is not very good right now.
If they needed our thoughts and prayers, the time is now fellas.

[macojoe]

Thanks CB for letting them know!

Mom got real sick, and doc said no chemo she was to weak. Put her in hospital to see if they could try and get her a bit stronger, she started to cough up ton;s of blood yesterday night, they put a tube in to suck all the blood out and gave her some more, they tested her and found a big tumor in her small intestine that caused the bleed and they also said its why she can't eat.
she need to get the tumor, but they said there is 2 ways to do it but she will not survive the operation!
So today was another hard day! she seems to be doing much better but we talked and decided to sign a DNR order, man was that hard! i have been pretty good around her till today, i lost it:cry::cry::cry::cry:
on top of that i am in charge of burial and all her banking and other stuff. never thought it was going to be this tuff!

[charlie_the_tuna]

sorry to hear, big guy. unfortunately i know just how tough this is gonna be. just make sure you tell your mom everything you wanted and dont leave any issues unresolved. keep your family together and gather strength from each other. you know i dont pray because i dont believe in a god who would let people suffer like this but just know we're all thinking about you in this very difficult time.
peace brother.

[Destroyer]

These are the hardest times a person can face. I'm so very sorry for you and your mom MJ.. Many, many prayers going your way.

I don't know how you feel about this, but you say she has a tumor that she will not survive the operation to get at...to my way of thinking if getting the tumor might give her additional time, then if it were me in her position I'd tell the docs to go get the damn thing. I think I'd like to choose the way I go out, and I'd like to go out fighting, not laying around waiting for it to happen. Just me and my two cents, I hope you're not offended by it. No harm is meant.. I just feel that even a 1% chance is better than 0%. :(

[lumberslinger178]

Sorry to hear this...

[macojoe]

Thanks for the support guys!!

She was a little more awake today, and seemed better! But we know the truth.

Destroyer: I hope you're not offended by it. No harm is meant.. I just feel that even a 1% chance is better than 0%. :(

I am in no way offended!! I have thought the same way, but its up to her and she says no! she is done with cutting and all the crap!! she is really taking this better then anyone else.
she was also not under standing the DNR and wanted it done a different way with conditions, doc told her its yes or no nothing in between!
so after we spoke i said the best way is let them try to save you, and if they can great, but when the doc tells me you are gone, i will get the brothers together and we will tell him to let you go, i promise i will not let you be on all them machines, and she agreed and thanked me.
but that's another thing that i hope i never have to do!! just hope in the end its fast and painless for her!!

[reelapeelin]

MJ...I know the end came pretty quietly for my mom in 2008...she was in a nursing home and just kind of drifted away...interesting; the ladies who work there, told us to the day when she would pass 3 days in advance...after a while, they can see it coming...they just know...

[bradford]

Stay strong Brother. Like Charlie said, be there for her and the rest of your family, and let them be there for you too. God bless ya'll.

[Destroyer]

Thanks for the support guys!! She was a little more awake today, and seemed better! But we know the truth. Just hope in the end its fast and painless for her!!

Amen :sad:

[wellcraftv20step]

I just want to say how very sorry i am for you Mj

[the daydreamer]

mj so sorry to here the latest on your mother. i know it is a very tough time for you and your family. i went through this last january with my mother. be there all you can,hold her hand and talk to her. you may not think that she understands or can her you but i am here to tell you she can!!!!!!!tell her its ok you understand.hospice told us that sometimes a loved one will try to stay with us because they feel like there are letting us down.tell her its ok to go be with the lord!!! keep strong brother!!!!!!!

[macojoe]

well just got home, doc called a meeting tonight with my mother and her 4 boys, we all met with him at the hosiptal. he then told us that the tumor is not oprabale and that he is changing her meds, after a little more info we are having hospice come in and get the house set up for her.
we then have the right to bring her home! at this time knowing what he told her and us she stated that she wants the DNR now. i explained it all to her again and she stated it not going to make a difference so why not, so we signed it tonight.

he also told us that she will be gone in a few weeks!! a month at best:sad: she then asked how will it happen?? :cry: he stated that tye pain will be getting worse by then and he will give her more pain meds to keep her comfortable and as the time gets closer she will get more and more tired till she goes to sleep and she will just pass, man i about hit the floor!!:zip:
she is taking it very well!

so tomorrow we will start getting the house ready for her and she will be home this weekend.
its going to be a hard few weeks!

[phatdaddy]

once again, sorry your family is having to go through this. hospice will give you a pamphlet type book explaining what to expect and what time line you are looking at. i found this to be extremely accurate and it was a comfort to know what to expect. when they assign a nurse, have a heart to heart with him/her , they usually have a better idea than the docs as to what is ahead. try to spend as much time as you can with your mom, even if she is sleeping. my mom would often awake early in the morning and that was when she was the most lucid and wanted to talk.

[Destroyer]

Damn..

[Road King Cole]

I know both of my parents would have liked to pass at home (esp my Mom), but when the time came it just wasn't feasible.

Keep on doing all you can for her and hang in there yourself.

I feel your pain...

rkc

[macojoe]

Thanks All!

mom is coming home tomorrow, she has said for years now that she never wanted to be put in a nursing home or anything!!! She always said she wanted to die at home, and she asked to go home yesterday!!
Well after talking with doc last night i called hospice this morning at 9am, they meet me at thye hosiptal at 1:30 pj, after a 1 hour meeting they ordered a hosptai bed, walker, wheelchair, and all meds and other things we will need to get her home. Boy they are fast all was delivered at her house today at 4:30pm!!
The doc called 6pm to answer some questions i had on her meds, as there was a question on soime of the meds that needed to be cleared up.
I also called my uncle in NY as she wants to be put with her mother anf father, so I need to know the cost of everything.

I wrote her a letter for mothers day a few weeks ago, but she might not make it? So I am going to give it to her soon, here it is


Mom I know this is not a fancy store bought card with pretty pictures, and a fancy poem. But it***8217;s the only way I could get one to say what I wanted!
Ma, I know I never say it, but I hope you already know just how much you mean to me!! For some reason I feel stupid to say it, even to you? But I am so glad you are my mother!! It is in a large part because of you that I am the man I am today, and I am grateful for that, and all the things you have taught me, and have done for me!
This is why I am choosing this Mothers Day to say***8230;***8230;
I LOVE YOU!!

[reelapeelin]

:clap:Only real men can talk to and about their mother in those terms...you stepped up to a tough plate, MJ...

[Destroyer]

Like Reel just said, only real men, men that are secure in themselves, can talk in those terms. I tell my mom every chance I get that I love her. I just wish I would have told my father before he died. It's a regret that I'll carry for the rest of my life. Telling your mom now is the best thing that you can do for both of you. God bless you both.

[Blue_Runner]

That is some very difficult news to hear. So sorry for you and your family.

The mother's day card is especially touching....I appreciate you sharing that with us. The hand written cards do mean so much more than anything you could buy.

I for one am going to make a point to tell my parents how much I love them, and tell them often.

[Monkey Butler]

MJ,

I know some like to poke you a little bit with the Windtalker thing and all that. (I don't because I live close enough to you that you could be here in an hour to kick my a$$).

But that is one of the best worded things I have seen written here, by anyone. Your character and love for your mom come through more clearly than could be expressed in a whole book.

My heart goes out to your mom and yourself and your whole family.

[lumberslinger178]

very nice mj may god bless you and your family.

[macojoe]

Thanks everyone!!

Mom is home now, we got her all settled in and comfy. The nurse and her new health aid are comming tomorrow to go over all her meds and stuff, the aid will come every other day to bath her and whatever else she needs.
I have a brother that lives with her, but he is the youngest and not to stable (LOL) so me and my other 2 brothers (there sare 4 of us) are going to stay there on different nights to give him some rest. I went and got a baby moniter tonight so it will be a bit easy when she is sleeping as she complains that we keep coming in to ck on her, now we can hear all in the other room.

I also called and talked to the funeral home and told them what we needed, I called my Uncle in NY and he talked to the cematery about getting her mother and fathers plot opened (as she wants to be with them) up for her. I still have to go and get a small stone to be put by her spot as there is no room on the family stone for her info.
So I have about 90% of things done, it sucks but I am about the only one that can handle it right now.

[Road King Cole]

By chance are you using , Chapman, Cole & Gleason? (no relation) They were wonderful when we did my Mom and Dad there.

And yes, beautiful card, wouldn't want to admit that it brought a tear to my eye.

Give it to her soon if you haven't already.

rkc

[macojoe]

Thanks!
I am giving it to her on saturday, and no I using dyer-lakefuneralhome.com/ a friend had his father done there a few years ago and was pretty happy. mom wants nothing, no wake or anything. So I talked to them today and except for the urn its $995

[buckleyjr]

You and your family are in my prayers, MJ. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, fears and feelings. It's inspiring, and certainly had an effect on me. I hope this community can help you through these difficult times.

[reelapeelin]

So I talked to them today and except for the urn its $995

When my mom passed in '08, we picked her ashes up from the crematorium and selected an urn on our own to hold most of the ashes...the rest we literally tossed to a mild breeze on a beach that had become a favorite of hers for years before she became so disabled she couldn't go any more...my sister, my wife and I and mom's 4 grandchildren...strongly emotional event for us...but she'll be on that beach forever...

[BuilderFL]

MJ, there's nothing more precious than our mother and nothing more valiant than love words that come strait from the heart of her son. :clap: And for those who still have their mother alive, lets make sure we tell them more often. You're a good man MJ. May God bless you and continue to give you the courage that will support you through this painful passage of life.

[macojoe]

Thanks guys!!

I did not go there today as I had to go to the Doc myself as I needed some things for my up coming eye surgery.
But I was called this AM by my brother saying it was a bad njght, I guess her breathing was bad and at 3am he helped her to a bed side comode and she did not call him when done, she decided to get off on her own when he heard on the moniter "Bam" and there she was on floor with shorts to her kness!! He was able to pick her up and get her back in bed. Nurse came out today and ck'ed her out and said she was fine, but we need to try to avoid this again, we said we will do are best??

[bradford]

Hang in there Bro. It sounds like you've got most everything under control in a very trying and emotional situatiuon. Great card, better than anything you could have bought.